fertility journey and stretching my faith

He's up to something big

well...

isn't He always?

God is expanding the borders of my faith

He's growing me

stretching me

and taking me to a new place.

and i am more deeply in love with Him than ever before

two days after my surgery

i sit down to hang with Him

i really wanted to listen to worship music

but the song i wanted to hear wasn't in my ipod

so i open my bible

and i come upon psalm 92

it's not like i haven't read it before

but you know when you read something in the word 

and it just hits ya

whammo!

it the heart

and there it was

sockin' it to me

and i started crying, 

bawling really

not the cute cry, 

not the

dab a tear on the edge of your eye cute kind

but the runny nose cry

the snotty nose cry

the oh-my-goodness cry

and i was 

oh

ver

whelmed

the magnitude hit me

those who are planted in the house of the Lord

shall flourish in the courts of our God

i began to really get it

the depth of being planted in the house

yes i am planted in my church home-house

and that's super duper awesome

but i was getting a new revelation

a heavy revvie

abut being planted

in Him

planted in the Lord

He is my house

i'm dwelling on that

and then i get the whopper

"to flourish in the courts of our God"

woa...

flourish in His courts?

me?

little me?

what?

awesomeness doesn't even grasp this

and i think about it

i'm just little me here

and i hear Him

He speaks to

me

little me

and as i am planted in Him

i get to 

flourish in His courts!

so now

i'm in a new place entirely.

He makes all things new!

here i am

i'm recuperating from my operation

to fix my fallopian tubes

to open it up and get the action going in there

c'mon babies!

that's where i've been hangin' at

delighting in Him

trusting that He will give me the desires of my heart

and here's the kicker.

yup

you read that right.

for over a year now 

mr. handsome and i have been trying to have a baby

we are now expanding our journey to include

blood tests

yucky hsg tests

fallopian tube and polyp clean up

and we continue on the journey

and through it all

and i mean all

my faith remains not only strong

but gets stronger

so here i am

in complete and total joy

dancing in Him

the joy of the Lord is my strength

we still don't have what we 'want'

as in: babies

but i know we will

i have no doubt whatsoever

we are gonna be a mama and a papa

but in the meantime,

we have the blessing of 

greater faith than i ever thought possible

now that's a christmas gift if i ever got one!

humbly receiving,

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